"COMMITMENT" ...
...that word has been popping up left and right for me lately, and when that happens I ALWAYS think, "OK, God. You got my attention....sledgehammer, please...what is it that you're trying to drill into my head, now?"
So I'm kinda nervous. Today I did something that I haven't done in a very long time....I actually made a >>COMMITMENT<< to do something for 10 weeks STRAIGHT! BIG, FAT, HUGE, HAIRY step for me....BIG! The worst part about this is that it's invloving other people. Not just "other" people, but CHILDREN....OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN.....WHO ARE GRIEVING!
You guessed it - I made the committment to start my training to become a small group facilitator for grief counseling at Supporting KIDDS in Hockessin, DE. This invloves 4 Wednesday nights of training, and then the fun begins with the actual 6-weeks of Wednesday nights' counseling.
Now, it's at this particular point that I start to hyperventilate and wonder...."WHY AM I DOING THIS?!?!?! I won't be good at this! What if I do more damage to some little innocent kid?!?! ...what if I suck at this?!?!? ...WHAT IF I'm NOT perfect?!?!?"
When I sit back and I become my own guidance counselor (which I tend to do at least 10 times daily these days), I realize that these thoughts are perfectly natural, and honestly, the fact that I'm even thinking them is a good sign that I CARE....which will in turn probably make me a good counselor....so there! I talked myself down off of that little ledge. WHEW! ...WOW!
...I AM GOOD!
I'll keep you all posted on how well I do here....(stay tuned! "Same BAT TIME, Same BAT CHANNEL!") Ka-POW!
3 comments:
Dear Annie.....Having gone through the program back in the late 80's in support of my niece Krista, not realizing then that I too would begin recovering from my grief. I can't think of a better organization or more diserving cause to be the benefactor of your time...your love...your servant heart...and your abiding faith in God...I pray the lives you touch and help lead toward healing will one day do the same for others!
In loving memory of my sister's son
Baby Karl Thomas Lenhoff 12-17-86 to 10-1-87
So long for now...Aunt Dee Dee
Thank you for sharing your story, Dee. I'm quite sure that Baby Karl has been right here with you all aong, and he, like the rest of us, are very proud of the healing that you've done not only for yourself, but for others whom you've met along the way.
You are a Blessing and a Gift!
Wow, I love your blog, Anne! And I love the causes that you champion.
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